Help. I think I have been more depressed the more time I spend in university. If you know how to cure depressions please tell me.

Marks always get me depressed. The only time that did not happen was when I found out my IB predicted. I really thought I screwed up back then but I did not. But that was over a year ago and it has been a while since I feel that way.

My 4 big problems:

1. I am not good at anything practical that I can actually earn money from.

2. I can't write final exams. That really is a big problem. I mean how can you go through university without such an ability? But honestly, I get pretty high marks in most of my courses until I go into the finals. I just don't get it.

3. I have an inability to absorb verbal information a lot of times. My brain just shuts down.

4. I can't concentrate to study properly.

I am so angry at myself.

I think it is total bull shit that atheists think people believe in God because they are depressed and are in dire need for help. It's not true at all. If you are going to believe anyone's words about that, believe me. I have been going to church for almost a decade and spiritually I think I have gotten absolutely no where because some part of me is also insecure and depressed and angry at myself for all the things I have done, have not done, should do but could not do. Sometimes I wish my parents never got converted. I wish I have never been introduced to church. At least then I won't be having as much conflicted feelings.

If any church people are reading this (of course none of them will, I have only mentioned this site to two people there and they are not blog reading type) then take this as a cry for help. I am really on the verge of giving up. For those who actually follow this blog (there may be one or two), I am sorry about repeating this in the last few entries. It must be done though. I believe in fair warnings. If God really does exist and he really does care then he would let some of those church people know. I want someone to convince me otherwise, to prove me wrong.

And please, someone tell me how to forget a person, or at least not think about the said person a lot. It's not healthy, I think, to think about a friend this much. This took me by surprise because this... fascination has developed so slowly. (I am being vague just in case someone who actually knows me read this).

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