Merry Late Christmas and Happy Boxing Day!

I had a blast shopping today. Met up with Tony today after shopping a bit. We ate lunch together. It's painful to watch him eat though, cause it looks like it takes so much effort. I feel somewhat guilty but very thankful for being able to eat so easily and quickly. I was happy. He helped me carryed much of my bags, so I was able to walk without killing my back -- He probably has no idea how much joy that brought me.

I have hurt my back while carrying that insanely heavy laptop and text books last term. Yesterday night when i went to sleep my back hurt so much I was swearing in pain -- it didn't bother me until I try lying down. I need to pay a visit to the chiropractor soon if this doesn't improve in the near future.

I hanged out with John/Jenny/Kenneth on the 23rd. It was really fun. I have no idea how much I miss hanging out with them until I hanged out with them. They are awsome people. I feel so at peace and safe while I am with them. We are hanging out again tomorrow.

Anyway, one of my bank card is dead. I need to put some money into that saving account... or I can just keep it moneyless... I suppose that works too.

Over all though, i had a very nice Christmas this year.

Here comes another one of thoes extremely vague posts that only the writer can truely appriciate the full meaning behind the words.

Past few days I have been contemplating on my father's words spoken about a week ago concerning how people should not fully believe in anything without a hair of doubt or skepticism. It was something to do with my mother and her easily pursuaded opinion of people. She has a way of liking someone or disliking someone by projecting one particular act that she views as admirable or abominable from a person to his or her whole personality while prompty forgetting the past acts of that person.

A single word from someone she views as trustworthy can ruin her opinion of another. If viewed positively one can say she is the most faithful of my family. For when she believes, she may believe without any reservations.

Father on the other hand, is a man who loves to argue, loves to contradicts the conventional believes. And in sense, he trusts nothing, because everything to him is two faced. When he says he believe in something, it means he believes with reservation, he can never completely trust anyone or fully believe anyone's intentions are entirely virtuous.

Both personalities have their draw-backs but you cannot say which is truely better. Betrayal undoubtedly affect the faithful much more than the faithless. Yet, without a doubt, those who cannot trust anyone or anything fully is bound to the pain of loneliness that the ability to trust no one but yourself invariably bestow.

I am afarid my father's words have poisoned my mind, and in many ways, I find myself as suspicious as I am trusting. I truely wishes to trust, believe in the beautiful words of those around me, but how can I when my father's warnings ring non-stop in my heart? Yet, IF they are true, IF those words are not in any ways white lies, IF I fully believe in them... I imagine I would be happy, much more happy than I am now.

I finished my tests.

I wonder how good I am at standing influence. I shall see, I guess.

2/5 tests done.

3 more to go.

Not bad. Not good.

I should be more scared of econ and organizational behavior but I am not. I am really scared of Japanese.

I dropped Japanese from next term time table and fill it with political science instead. I have always liked politics. I will see where this lead me. On plus side, I will actually be in one class with Benny. On minus, I don't know what its about.

I finished English essay finals today, I have to say I think the essays made more sense than the other two I did before. I time managed much better this time than last time and I actually had time left to prove read most of the two papers. I think I will get better marks in these two than those two. But then again, it doesn't take much to get better than C+. My goal is to average a B in the end. I don't know if it is possible, but I can hope.

I did math on Saturaday. It was alright I suppose. I am not sure how I did though. You know how easy it is in making stupid mistakes in math. I have been praying that everyone else did horrible and thus scaling my marks up. Math is being scaled weirdly. I think the test itself is scaled according to everyone who did the test including the 185 (never learned Calcalus before class). After it's scaled, it's the class average it comparied with the class average of the final. If the whole class did better than class average then your whole class get scaled up again. If not the whole class get scaled down. I can always hope a whole 185 class fail the exam. Anthony thinks I am evil. Really I am not.

I can't wait till Christmas. I love the holiday. It's the favorite time of the year for me. I will have to spend quite a bit of money this year though... which is okay I guess after I got that job. Which is not as cool. I am looking forward to the free fondue I won in a bet. I never tried cheese fondue before.

My finals are coming up soon. So I am going to do a week of intense studying... so intense that by the end I am not sure if my brain will work at all.

I am sad that my Math test is on a Saturaday and it just happen to be the Saturaday when I can be building a gingerbread house... Why?! Oh Why?! Oh well... I guess I can make one on my own.

I am worried a lot about my electives. I am very bad at them. Since finals worth at least about 45% in one and 30% in another... I will try my best and see what will happen. Please God let me write some good in class essay!!! *prays*

I am not scared of my math test... although maybe I should be.

Today I plan to read econ book (how dry) and do math questions in the text books (those easy ones that I think will lay the base for doing the harder bonus qeustions in the next few days. I think I will also look at my japanese book a bit, and read the stupid endnotes carefully (I found about about half of my test is on the endnotes).

The other day my mother got attacked by some mentally unstable guy. The mother of that guy got so scared of her son that she drove away from home before this happened and called the police. The guy basically got a rake and tried hitting my mother. In the end the police came and arrested him. Now they are going to force him to move. Irony in all these is that that the home - I suppose it is now the former home - of that maniac is situated on the back field of 2 elementary schools.

Oh it's been snowing here for the last few days. Well not snow but flurries... but even that is VERY rare in early December for us. I wish it would actually stays on the ground, but half an hour drive away, there are places where snow does blanket the ground.

Moviewise, in the last few weeks I saw two movies. I saw Pride and Prejudice (finally) and Harry Potter. Pride and Prejudice was exactly as I expected since I already saw a crappy cam version of this movie. It can be better, but as it is I like it. I was slightly disappointed, but I understand why they did those cuts. As for Harry Potter, I have to say it was a little better than I thought. I liked Krum a lot more than I did in the book, and I liked Digory a lot more in the movie than in the book too. Sadly, they underdevelope a lot of parts in the forth book, but I guess that has to happen when the book is as ridicously thick as a dictionary.