They say sandman brings with him our secret desires, fears and hopes. If that is true, then it seems that my utmost desire is to hug someone really hard without being pushed away.

Does this show my insecurity? Or the lack of hugging in my family? Or the fact show I watched Anastasia yesterday and they had a few hugging scenes? I really don't know.

Urge to die... rising.

Haha look at that pun. Of course you would not know this is a pun unless you are Laina.

Yeah I am going insane. The stress load is just crazy. Guess what is due tomorrow? I have three labs and one essay. Joy! And all of them really count... >.<

Damn IB and all. G4 really sucks. Not only did I have to do almost the whole chemistry lab alone, I have to write up the lab and then send it to other people so they can see. Can't they just do it themselves? I hate doing the stupid chemistry lab. It takes forever and it is so repetitive and boring. Bosco thinks he did everything just becuase he did the bio lab, but you know what? He spent maybe one third of the time I spent on the chemistry lab. Damn them all. I like Jamil though he actually worked you know. I guess I can't complain i got Jamil to send me some labs. I honestly did not copy anything he wrote. I hope he believes me. If he looks at my lab he would understand.

To top off anything that is already bad, I discovered this morning my English World Lit 1 is gone! Joyful isn't it? I am soooo glad I have a hard copy. All I have to do is to retype and re-edit it... Thank God I am a pretty fast typer. But the whole re-edit thing is going to take while. I am never good at re-edit things.

But anyway. I am stuck staying awake the whole night. First time this two years in IB! Wow! Amazing! But I will get these group 4 lab done, this bio lab done, the English World Lit 1. I will go to school. I will go to that Christmas breakfast (hopefully but I am starting to get doubtful at three in the morning).

I decorated my house today. I took out the tree as usual but I used less ornament than the past five years becuase it looks better this way. I put the stuff animals on the fireplace instead of at the bottom of the tree.. I think it looks better. I also stopped using those old red and green paper to cover the bottom of the tree. Instead I used more of those shinny stringy thing. One string of green and silver and another of red and silver. To top that off I added a string of outdoor light at the bottom of the tree... The tree was decorated to my satisfaction except for the fact my mom threw away two of our old strings of light. To my utter horror, both the colour string and the white string were gone... so this year the tree looks unbelievably dim. Mom said she may get some more light for the tree if she has time.

Now the only thing left to do is to stick those window stickies on to the windows.

Oh one more thing Michelle gave me the best gift again... I doubt anyone else can give me better gifts than her this year either. Last year she gave me that Naruto manga book which I am still very proud of having. This year she gave me the newest Naruto figure set. Oh my God it looks good. You can see it here. The only one I still need is the first one. Which unforunate holds the only Sakura in the sets along with a very cool looking Kakashi. Unfortunately... that set is out of shock in most place or is extremely expensive at places that holds it.

I went and watched Madame Butterfly yesterday. It was really good. It was sad, but the music was very pretty.

First snow of the year fell today during second period of history class. It was only wet snow, but snow nevertheless.

It was funner than I thought it would be.

I got really hyper by the end. I say it is the stress I was in during the week. Or the two pieces of chocolate cake I ate for dessert. Or the deafening music. What ever it was I got really hyper... sort of like the time when I was standing next to Anthony at Church camp when we both starting singing in that impossibly high pitch after drinking way too many cups of hot chocolate. Yeah... sort of like that.

It was really fun though. I also found out a few things that are kind of interesting:
1. John can dance. He took lessons for a year.
2. Jenny likes dancing.
3. Helen looks like a Russian model. Hell she can be one for all I care.
4. Regina dances when she is peer pressured into it.
5. Kenneth dances too when other people are dancing.
6. Loud music makes me hyper.

I found out when I look back at the pictures something that is not so pleasing:
1. God I am fat.

I am fat and that makes me depressed.... I tell you mom is totally blinded by her filial love when she says I was pretty in my dress. I look freaken fat. Vivien lost a lot of weight after getting sick. Maybe I should catch a cold too and barf my head off then I would loose at least five pounds too. Too bad that sound really uncomfortable and painful... *sigh*

Talked to Henry yesterday. He sounded alright. He really wants other people to go to UBC with him... or something.

Talked to Hilda the other day too. Anthony (the evil one) is being mean to her. How can he? That is totally blasphemous. Then again when are dictators ever aren't?

I decorated Christmas tree at the cannery. The ordered pizza. And I watched Pirates of the Caribbean again. It was fun anyway. =)