Whoever is most happy is the most prone to disappointment, this must be an universal law. Like mother said, "The greater your hope, the greater your disappointment."

For the last few days I was bothered by my English essay mark. The idea of dropping the class plays endlessly in my head. I gave myself many excuses - my advance credits already, this can drop my core average, I don't like the topics... Theologically, I should improve in the next few essays after reading the comments from my prof. But I am very worried because my past record for in class essays is not good to say the least. 4 out of 5 essays this course would also depend on are in class.

My heart wavers. Giving up takes no effort. Quitting means doing nothing.

But dropping the class would make me a coward. Surrendering is the complete opposite of what I speak against to all my friends. I tell them not to run away from their problems, but here I am thinking of ways to avoid the possibility of failures. What would that make me but the world biggest hypocrite?

If I drop a class because of one essay how many classes will I have to drop in the future? Didn't I say I wanted to write a book one day? Am I going to give up just like I gave up before? You gave up before Crag gave up on you. Why expect him to pay attention to someone who does not even put effort into going to practices? How is writing for an hour in the morning enough? If you care so much, shouldn't you put more effort into it?

If you like something shouldn't you keep at it even it means a million failures? If you are passionate about something shouldn't you be willing to swallow your pride and preserver?

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