Do I care? Absolutely not. Am I going. Sadly yes. This is the first one I have gone to for a while.

Honestly I don't really want to go. But this teacher who hosted the history contests told all of us to go. She refused to tell us how we did in the contest. She was like, "I promise you it will be sensational." Sensational? Yeah right. Like hell I will get anything. Jeremy Wood or John Lee may get something. They are pretty good at writing and all that. But me? A pig would climb the tree before that happens. I mean for heaven's sake that Canadian history historiography contest's written portion is about swim suits! Swim suits?! What the hell?! What kind of history is that? I know Canada has a short history, but is it really so short that you have to use the revolution of swim suits as the portion that makes up for the most marks?

Anyway. They said I got some awards. I know what they are. I got the service award no one cares about and I got in the principle honour roll that everyone gets in to. It's not special, it is definately not worth 3 hours of my time. Ms. Kinegal thinks service awards are so important, they are not.

I hate award ceremony. You know why? Becuase Award ceremonies are only good if you are the one winning something. In these stupid ceremonies mediocre people like me gets awards that don't matter and are force to watch those remarkably smart people get awards that actually matters. Normally you can almost convince yourself that you are as good as they are because you don't have to know how well they did in tests, and what sort of amazing feast they have accomplished. All you need to know is that you did alright and many people did worst than you, and this knowledge make you feel good about yourself. I tell you, unlike what those teachers tell you, award ceremonies are places where your self confidence can take the lowest dip.

Am I jealous of those people? Yes. I am not even going to deny that. I have been jealous for a long time. Every single award ceremony from grade four till now. I hate going to the award dinners for the swimming club. I hate just going up there and getting the 'AA' award while watching other people go up again and again. And worst of all I never once won any of the lucky draws that would have at least make my time wasted worth it.

Am I whinny right now? Yes. I know I am. I know what other people will say. They will say I have no rights to complain becuase I don't try as hard as those people who are up there getting the awards. That is true most of the time, of course, but meh. This is my blog and I get to rant as much as I feel incline to.

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