After working harder yesterday in my PRO-D day than I would have if I went to school, I just sat in front of my television and caught up with all those chinese Soap Opera episodes I missed.

Yes, I am extremely bitter about having a stupid Physic project due on a PRO-D day... I mean it should be my holiday!!!! What the hack?! Is that even legal to give students homework due on a holiday?

Anyway, that soap is good. Almost the end, just four more episodes, and the main character girl is still in denial. Very bad situation.

Laina turned down hanging out again. I suppose I should not be so bothered by that. After all, it's not like I did not expect her to go out with her boy friend on the long week end, but you know, I still sort of want to see her once in a while. She is my friend and I still consider her as my best friend even if I never see her now a days. I think the last time I saw her was maybe three weeks ago. I talked to her twice on msn and once on the phone (for ten minutes) since then. It's sad how I still love her like a best friend. But ever since I came to Canada I had not been really good with finding friends. I am accepted but still an outsider like Meursault from the Outsider...

Who ended up being condamned by society...

Well, perhaps I am expecting too much from her. After all, three hours in two weeks is just SO demanding. Especially when she is willing to spend countless hours with her boyfriend. I promise to who ever is out there that I will never be like that if I ever have a boyfriend. I will always remember about my real friends. No, after feeling the pain of being the best friend to a girl who forgets her bestfriend when her boyfriend is around I don't want any one to SUFFER through this. *cough yes if you are reading this Laina I am trying to put you in a guilt trip, though of course, chances are you probably will never read this so it really doesn't matter cough* I do realize the importance of Keith to Laina, and I know she should spend a lot of time with Keith, but I am only asking two hours of her time for each week. Is that too much to ask for? For heaven's sake I talk to Henry and Derek more than I talk to Laina sometimes! It's totally absurd.

Joshua is boring again. I don't get why mom want me to go to fellowship so much. I think she doesn't understand that the more she foreces a religeion on someone the less the person want to believe. Call it human's nature or the work of the devil, I don't care, but it's true. I mean for a while I do want to believe, but the moment I get to fellowship I stop wanting to. People are so nice there but they also seem so fake, and none of my friends go to fellowship. I don't want to go, I don't feel any of them understand. When ever they listen to me it's only out of pity and I don't want any of their pity.

But mother just does not understand.

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