Writing (okay it's more like typing) in the library again. Isn't this wonderful?

Oh and just for your information. Today I am stranded in the library until six thirty (life sucks).

Anyway, just want to comment on my guilt for the last few weeks (surprisingly that is the theme for that new chapter of A Gifted Child). I think I have really lost hope for society, and especially in myself. I think I am hopeless.

Sometimes, there are people who are just so perfectly nice to me but inside I am laughing at them, saying how stupid they are. I find them annoying, I dislike them. I don't know if thost thoughts show through, maybe they do to some extend, if they did show through then well those people are certainly taking those feelings well.

I feel bad for thinking that way of course. I shouldn't feel that way, first of all, especially when that person is just that nice to me, and I would be lonely if it were not for them.

Yet there I am, everyday thinking about how stupid they are...

Maybe I am just too vain, too proud.

And I must admit I do have some pride (all humans must have a certain amount of that to stay to survive).

Now perhaps they are thinking exactly the same thing inside, thinking of how stupid I am, and how egotistic, vain and horrible I am - while I can imagine those feeligs in one of those friend, I am pretty sure the other one does not think this way...

Maybe that's why I am hanging around her a lot. I think she is harmless...

Ha! Just wait. I bet you anything she turns out to be vitious and evil at the end. It's just my luck I tell you. Just my freaking luck.

Okay now I am just insanely paranoid.

So I better just shut up.

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