I have finished Conard's Life in a big rush so I didn't actually get everything in the book, but what I did get definately made me smile more than I should. I think I will have to read that story again when my midterms end. I am sure I will enjoy it more then.

The book also made me love the Christopher character even more. He is absolutely hilarious when he was a teenager. I thought about how romantic it was for him to marry Millie in the end, and uses the ring made by one of his life as a wedding ring. You have to admit, only women writers would write about something like that in a children book. Guy writers would steer away from romance all together normally.

It made me think about how normal kids act, and how I should portray Arc and Lumeria's in my story in my story. Jeremy asked me what my characters are like. I found them exessively hard to describe perhaps because I don't know them well enough. So these few days I have been thinking about them again. Arc seems way too mature for his good in my head so far. I also want to know why Lumeria wants to be around such an unsocialable person. Especially when she heard all these scary rumours about Arc before and she has so many friends already.

Conclusion: I must know my own characters better.

I just had my reading break. I pretty much just worked, ate, and studied. I went to Spaghetti Factory with my parents cause they never went before. I had great fun eating bread with them.

I went to the library the other day and borrowed a bunch of children fantasy books (and an adult fantasy book by Andre Norton). I just felt like reading Diana Wynne Jones books because they are so fun and not just for little kids. I am getting into the Chrestomanci series. Christopher and Millie are really cool characters. Of course I love Christopher the most. He really reminds me of Howl in Howl's Moving Castle, except Christopher is not as vain - but he still is, look at his collection of impossibly splendid dress coats. I think I ought to learn his vague look when I have time.

The past few weeks my asthma caught up with me and I have been coughing, very badly last week, acceptably this week. I have runny nose too, and it got so bad I was having nose bleed.

The other day I worked and I got 8 paper cuts from filing. It must be a new record. I am quite proud of myself. I took revenge on the folders by bleeding all over them.

I worked on Valentines day at the flower shop. I got a crappy 8.5 dollars an hour. It was quite a depressing day for me. The customers were all last minutes shoppers and were all in very bad mood. The boss was in horrible mood because she did not sleep the night before making bouquets. I was in a horrible mood because I realize there should be a law that prevents girls my age from working at a flower shop when she did not get any flowers herself. Although of course, that's my doing. I don't really want a boyfriend right now - honest.

I have realized that it must be pretty painful for Anthony to talk to me on msn because of his obsession with correct grammar and spelling. Since I am far from a precise typer, and my messages have so many grammar and equally many spelling mistakes, I can only imagine his pain when he reads what I type. But too bad for him. But screw sympathy - fate gave him the misfortune of knowing me so he just have to live with them.

I am currently sipping my Tim Hortons Iced Cappuccino with a scarf and knitted yarn hat while gazing out at the cold rain on the other side of the glass and laughing inwardly at people who happen to be outside. There's just something oxymoronic, ironic and boarder line wrong about that, don't you think? Those poor people shivering in the cold and I am willingly sipping in the cold.

Creepy news my mother told me yesterday, my older cousin #2 (I have 2) is now pregnant and will be married in March. It's weird. i can't imagine her as a mother. I just can't. To me, she will always be that too-cool-to-hang-out-with-much-younger-me teenage cousin. I suppose, that's when I most saw her, when she was my age now... but that is 9 to 10 years ago, yet that's how I remember her. I wonder if this is a wanted baby. Or was she really just that stupid?

It came as a shock to me when my older cousin #1 got married and had kids, I mean I shouldn't be all that surprise, seeing she really is A LOT older than me... like 15 years or something like that. But she kept herself really well. Even though she has two kids, so looks like someone without one. On top of that she has a pretty good career. I have always wonder what it would be like to be the daugher of a woman with so much education and so beautiful. It must be quite a life.

Yesterday night, I worked on my resume for a very long time. I don't see how that worked since really the resume was only a page. But for some reason it took me forever. I don't like resumes because it makes me think of the future, and I don't like thinking of the future since I really can't quite imagine myself content. I won't be miserable I suppose, but I will not be happy either. Isn't that a depressing thought?

Yesterday, Jon told me about Ayaka, a Japanese girl he is chasing. I don't know how exactly I feel about that. I don't feel bad. I don't feel happy either. I thought, since I felt so guilty about breaking up that I would feel very relieve and joyous when I he get s new girlfriend. But that's not exactly how I felt. Nevertheless I felt pretty happy yesterday when I talked to him, he sounded very happy, and for that I was happy for him.

After all, he deserves to be happy, perhaps more than me.

Kenneth and Aren told me I am too harsh on myself sometimes. Perhaps they are right. But I think, it's better to be too harsh on yourself than be too easy on yourself. It keeps you accountable for your own actions, it keeps you from being a big jerk, it keeps you from offending people too badly. You are annoy people with your self consciousness, but they can't hate you too much for it when you don't force this believe onto others.

Well, my medium cup of iced capp is finished so I should stop writing.

I updated a bit later than I thought. Anyway. Steven Harper won. Joyous. I heard he got an asthma a few days earlier and went to the hospital. Not exactly a good sign especially for someone as young as my mother.

Today is math midterm. I am somewhat worry, but I studied so we shall see how that goes. I studied the whole day yesterday. I think I studied pretty hard for this considering it is a math test and I usually don't study as much. But partial derivative is something new, so I feel inclined to study.

Hum... class is starting so I should stop blogging now. Till next time.