There are many things I wish to write here. I think I would too except I stupidly gave some people I know in real life the address of this blog. I wish I never told them I keep one. It's okay for stranger to read about what I want to write, but it may offend people I know.

I wish there's a way to keep them from reading this so I can actually write down everything here to vent my emotions right now... but it dosen't seem like that's possible.

As it is perhaps I will keep what I am about to write very vague.

I am contemplating on jealousy and what triggers jealousy.

It all seemed like a normal Monday. I decided to go home today after school because I was tired after sleeping for only four hours yesterday and I didn’t sleep very well because I was worried I would not get up. I budged in the line as I normally would if I see my someone I know. I don’t really care if I get a seat or not, but it seemed easier than walking all the way down the winding line for 480. Surge noticed she-who-must-not-be-named. I didn’t really care. She was pretty civil to me in all the times I saw her.

Of course, being civil to a stranger is really not all that hard. All you have to do is say hello.

In any case, what are the chances she would stop right in front of where we sit anyway? Got on the bus. Sat down. Surge swore when he saw you-know-who slowly approaching. By fate, she stopped right where we sat. Ironic, perhaps you can even call it a poetic justice for budging?

I hardly know her anyway, other than seeing her a few times a year and saying hello to her as many times as I have fingers. I saw Benny, so I phoned him to get a ride from him. She started talking. I didn’t hear her. Surge had a weird smile. The environment was quite tense. When I saw some girl who I don't know giving me a sympathetic smile, I know soemthing was wrong. Got off the phone, when I realized she was talking to me I asked what she was talking about. She asked me if I felt bad at the looks I recieved when I budge.

I thought inwardly, I didn't see any looks except for yours. But nevertheless, budging was wrong, so I didn't retort and just asked if she wants my seat. She said no. But if I was to give away my seat, I would only give it to the person who exerted energy on trying to get it. So... I didn't let someone else take my seat.

That's my part in the whole situation, she didn't really care for me, her words were aimed at Jonathon. Surge and I knew that so we just put on our mp3 player and looked away from her. But music really didn't block out the conversation between those two. They were both getting angry and frustrated and pretty soon their exchanged turned sour.

And that's when Surge and I smiled silently in amusement.

Which... if you think about it, is perhaps, even more cruel than the callous words between those two. I mean, their uncivil exchange came from their heightened emotion and they both feel horrible about the conversation. And there I was... smiling.

Worst thing is, I think I will smile again, if something similar happen again. The exchange just amused me.

Just like when my flight instructor told a story about how a man standing next to him was killed somewhere in Central America or South America (I think it's Mexico or Chile) I laughed. It was so wrong... <.< (at least I was not the only one that laughed).

Awsome. I managed to title this entry with three seemingly unrelated subjects.

I have been reading this brilliant Draco Malfoy fanfiction. I couldn't stop once I began. I don't get why I read Harry Potter fanfictions. I mean I don't even like the last three books, and I don't even want to go see the movie (though I will end up seeing it I have a feeling *sigh*)... but I can't stop reading Harry Potter fanfictions. I don't read them every day of course. But through out the last 3-4 years I have been reading Harry Potter fanfictions on and off, this often takes up the time I would otherwise use to read actual literature.

I do have to admit I believe some of the fanfictions are better written than the actual books. But I have to give JK Rowling the credit for creating the characters, even if she does not use most of her characters to their full potential.

Take Draco Malfoy. There are so much she can manipulate with! Instead, Rowling just left him mostly blank and made him blasphamously cry in a girl washroom with a ghost. A girl washroom of all place! Completely ungraceful and destroyed Draco's reputation as a tough guy.

I suppose you can call me in heavy denial, but hey! It's a story, and I am entitle to be delusional concerning a made believe character.

Anyway, the way Draco Malfoy leads to Bill Reid is that reading that Draco Malfoy fanfiction (by the way it is a Draco/Ginny story) is how reading the fanfiction cut into my Bill Reid essay writing time. I was able to finish the essay on time however, thank you very much to my kind peer editors Aaron, Jon, and Dian.

On to Japanese. I had a Japanese oral test today. I think I did better than I thought I would... which is not that hard. At least I did not have to answer Hai, so desu ne (Yes, is that so?) all the time.

To conclude this entry I will just say I still think Tom Felton is perfect as Draco Malfoy even after all these years.

Nothing makes one happier than a few well placed praises. Even if they don't totally mean what they say, as long as you feel those praises are genuine enough you can't help but feel special and floaty. XD